Shift In The Right Direction

There is something calming and chaotic about the sea. Its immense 

and vast character terrorizes me with its mystery. What lies beneath the sea? 

But the true question always surfaces -

What lies ahead of me?

Even with the sea's restlessness, it remedies my unquiet mind.
The sea, like the future is a beautiful, beautiful thing.

++

This week I needed some healing.

I needed to re-evaluate, find clarity, surround myself with people who believe in me

and see the opportunity of one massive door closing.

It is a new beginning, not an ending.

After this hiatus, I feel a lot better about the shift in direction my life is taking me.

I will never have all the right answers or make all the "right" decisions but that is not what life is

composed off. Life is not a carefully calculated series of perfect events right after one another.

You must make mistakes, struggle, feel lost, question everything and be spontaneous.

The only mistakes you make are the ones you don't learn from.

Here is to the beauty within all the chaos.

Wrong Decisions

Breathe in, breathe out, Repeat

The art of making decisions has always been a topic for debate. Who is the right kind of decision maker? We roll our eyes at those who can never make one, judge the ones that make them too quickly, translate spontaneity as irresponsible, but tell the ones who plan too far ahead to just relax. What is the perfect formula for making a decision? The right one at that.

Truth is, there is none and sometimes the freedom for making a decision feels more like a burden. We fought so hard as teenagers for the responsibility to make our own decisions, but now that I am in my early twenties, it feels chaotic not having a four-year plan laid out in front of me. There is beauty in this chaos I know, but I have been struggling to find it.

When I make a decision, I think of everything. Even if my decision may seem spontaneous and of the blue, it has honestly been carefully calculated. I am already trying to find solutions to problems I know I am going to have next year April. This is my problem. This has been my problem for months. It is an easier pill to swallow if I say months, but honestly it has been almost a year. Ever since I graduated, my radar for making any sort of plan or decision has gone out the window. My "transitional year" (also easier, less rude way of calling this year) is almost up and I need to get it together.

My heart, head and bank account go at each other like a bunch of crazy felines as soon as the light bulb goes off about a new plan. My heart follows this hopeful idea that everything will be okay, my head makes sure that it is at least logical and my bank account just says NO. Lately I have been listening to my bank account if that gives you a taste of what it has been like.

Well, it's time to stop. I have lost my confidence to trust a decision. Even if other people don't agree, even if it seems a little illogical at first, I need to trust that I will be okay. I need to trust myself that I can handle whatever the universe throws at me. I need to regain my confidence that I know how to make it work and I have the drive, support, motivation and passion to do so, even if my "adult" sensors to live comfortably keep going off. Be happy or live comfortably. It is a constant battle and rare occasion when both can happen together. I applaud those who find that balance.

Sometimes the decision happens for you (like mine for quitting my 9-5 to pursue a graphic design/photography career - more on this later), but sometimes there is no one holding your hand and opening the right door. You can't calculate the outcome of every decision you make. Eventually any decision you make leads you to where you're suppose to be anyway, right?

Be fearless. The only mistakes we make are the ones we don't learn from.

I guess I should go make my decision now.

Photo was taken in 2011 with my first roll of Holga film.

A Book A Month | Eat Pray Love

 

 Woo-hoo! The first book for my A Book A Month Challenge is under my belt, and no better way to welcome this new challenge than with Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. Before Julia Roberts was part of the picture, my friends have been urging me to read this book. Four years, a trip to goodwill and $.50 later, I have finally arrived. As soon as I fell upon this book in the local goodwill, I just knew it was about dang time I made an effort to finally make reading this book a priority.

In my review of Eat Pray Love, there are no spoilers so you're safe if you have not read it!

Eat Pray Love was a great book to start off the year because it talks about some of my favorite things such as travel, self-discovery, love, spirituality, food, meeting new people and learning to be alone. I have surprisingly seen a lot of negative book reviews... mostly about Liz being self-absorbed, privileged, neurotic and whiny. Although she is not my favorite book character, there were a lot of things that I respected about her. I didn't find her decisions to divorce her husband, quit her job and travel to three countries as delusional, unorthodox and crazy. Instead I found them to be imperfect, indecisive, lost (like most of our own decisions) but most importantly courageous. Regardless of the whys behind her decisions, she made an executive one to change her life by traveling the world and I just can't help but respect someone for doing that.

It took me some time to get used to her writing style. It seemed all over the place, jumping from ex-lovers to post divorce scenarios to eating pizza in Italy to childhood memories with her sister. Of course I found her constant impatience as unnerving and annoying, but thing is, we all have those moments. She just wrote about it...in full detail. This book isn't per se, my favorite, but I did learn a lot through her struggles of loneliness, spiritual brick walls, getting over a lover and letting go. Through her journey, I found some peace and tranquility in my own personal chaos. Instead of falling in love with her character or even the storyline, I fell in love with her concepts of searching for pleasure, devotion and balance. Even though she complains about men the most in her book, the male characters in the book were my favorite part! (Hey Richard, Yudhi and Felipe).

Before I delve too much into detail, here are my favorite excerpts: (sorry it's lengthy)

"Il bel far niente" - Italian for the beauty of doing nothing

"l'arte d'arrangiarsi" - Italian for the art of making something out of nothing

"It is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than live an imitation of somebody else's life with perfection." (95)

"We don't realize that, somewhere within us all, there does exist a supreme Self who is eternally at peace." (122)

"Just keep throwing six months at it till it goes away. Stuff like this takes time." (148)

"People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that's holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you and then they leave." (149)

 "But I love him. So love him.

But I miss him. So miss him.

Send him love and light every time you think of him and then drop it." (150)

"Devotion is diligence without assurance." (175)

"If faith were rational, it wouldn't be - by definition - faith. Faith is belief in what you cannot see or prove or touch. Faith is walking face-first and full-speed into the dark." (175)

"Destiny, I feel, is also a relationship - a play between divine grace and willful self-effort. Half of it you have no control over; half of it is absolutely in your hands, and your actions will show measurable consequence. Man is neither entirely a puppet of the gods, nor is he entirely the captain of his own destiny; he's a little of both." (177)

"Devo farmi le ossa" - I need to make my bones.

"Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it and sometimes even travel the world looking for it." (260)

"I have a history of making decisions very quickly about men. I have always fallen in love fast and without measuring risks. I have a tendency not only to see the best in everyone, but to assume that everyone is emotionally capable of reaching his highest potential. I have fallen in love more times than I care to count with the highest potential of a man, rather than with the man himself, and then I have hung on to the relationship for a long time (sometimes far too long) waiting for the main to ascend to his own greatness. Many times In romance I have been a victim of my own optimism." (285)

"Sometimes you count the days, sometimes you weigh them." (306)

In theory, I give this book:

MANTRA TO START THE WEEK

AND DO IT OFTEN

Remember this today, this week, this year and always.

At times we get stuck in this idea of what we are supposed to do versus what we desire to do. Sometimes we feel as if we do not have a choice and we conform to do what we are told. Guilty...guiltyguiltyguilty. I am making a conscious effort to find time to do what I love more and work towards doing it full time... personally and professionally. Can I honestly say that I am where I want to be professionally? No. Personally? Absolutely not, but before I settle and commit to something for security reasons, I need to first figure out what I love. I am no in way disregarding how blessed and thankful I am for having a job and how much I really have grown to love it, but every opportunity is a stage in our forever-growing lives and who knows where this will take me. I have always wanted a Master's degree, but first I want to take a few classes to build up my technique and knowledge. For example, I am interested in graphic design and brand identity, none of which I really got a chance to learn about in undergrad... just something I picked up along the way and get to do it part-time. (I say really because let's face it, those media publishing/graphic classes were just introductions to the world of graphic design.) I want to make sure these passions stays afloat and do not get lost in the sea of regrets because I wanted "security".

Don't get me wrong, security is important, but if it is with something you are not passionate about that is a copious amount of sacrifice. Forgive the cliché but life is way too short to settle, to conform and to push back your passions for the lifestyle you think you are supposed to be living. Rediscover what you love and just do it. Do not let the conformity of others or the little things that seem like big things hinder you. Do what you love, love what you do and do it often.

Make sure you find that "extra hour" to either do what you love, discover what you love or put forth effort to finally do what you love. So may I ask... what is it that you love?

____________________________________

// image

PS. Notice the little blog facelift? :) She's still a work-in-progress. Slowly, but surely.

ON TRAVELING

FRI. Sept 28 2012
listening to: Mumford & Sons, Babel

Have you read this article yet? Converge Magazine wrote an article about traveling young and the author could not have put it in better words. Oh...you haven't read it? Well, go read the article and then come back to my blog.

Done? Good. Let's continue.

"You won’t always be young. And life won’t always be just about you. So travel, young person. Experience the world for all its worth. Become a person of culture, adventure, and compassion. While you still can."

"This is my calling! My life! I don’t want what you have. I will always be an adventurer.”

Adventure.

We all crave it. We read about it in novels, close our eyes and wish for it but didn't you know it is right in front of you? It's on that plane/train/bus ticket you have yet to purchase, in the pages of your passport, stuck between the tires of your car and right in the palm of your hand. It's that road trip you have planned on taking but just "never had a good weekend" and that international trip you just "couldn't afford". It happens when you escape your world for a little bit to discover another. It's what you get when you travel.

It is easy to find a comfortable place and stay in it. There's nothing wrong with that, but I urge you all to get out of your comfort zone even if it's just the next county over. Traveling doesn't have to cost you thousands. It is exploring the unknown. I love nothing more than visiting a new city, checking out the local places and discovering what makes the heart beat in that particular town. I think every place has a little something to offer in the world. Whether it's a quick trip to Atlanta or a month-long trip to the Philippines (I recently did both), it changes you. It challenges you to be lost in the unknown and start from scratch because only when you're lost do you find yourself.

When asked the question, "What is one thing you would love to do right now?" many people reply "Travel". If I could drop all responsibilities and had an infinite amount of money that is all I would do! Wouldn't you? Most of us want it, we crave it, we desire it, we cling to those two week vacations from work. Make sure you travel as soon as you can because one day you may not have that luxury anymore. 

Travel my dear friends.
Enjoy your life, spend a little bit of your earnings and reach out because the world really is in arms reach. You may find yourself falling in love - with a place, a person, an idea and a new perspective. Traveling refreshes you, energizes you, changes you, moves you, and makes you a better person. A person who is cultured, who understands the world around them, who breaks barriers and begins the little steps of linking us all together. We all live in this crazy world together and really should get to know one another. There's something great in all of us and traveling can help us discover that.

The feelings I get when I travel are indescribable. I wish I could capture the moments when I rode an elephant, saw the Madrid skyline, experienced the night markets in The Philippines and Thailand, ziplined through the Costa Rican mountains or swam near waterfalls with more than my camera and my stories. I wish I could describe those sensations, the scents and make you feel the wind or how the water felt, but it is merely impossible. You must experience it for yourself.

Next time you are stuck between "What should I do with my life?" or "What should I do this weekend?"...travel dearest friends. It would be an absolute shame for this beautiful world to go unseen, for cultures to be unknown and for people to stay strangers.

And this is why I travel.

Boone: Bittersweet goodbye (for now)

Dear Boone,

Not many people can appreciate your hidden beauty, but every day since I first moved here four years ago, I have been falling in love with you more each day. You changed my world. You changed my perspective. You changed me. Who knew that a little town in the High County, whose population doubles when school is in session, could have such a lasting impact on a girl trying to find her way in the world. You may not have had the hip clubs, Target, student discount at the movie theater or the other million things the world likes to use to distract themselves, but you had heart. You had a culture of people that cared, cared about one another and cared about leaving the world better than how they left it. You became my home when I was 18 and as much as it hurts to say goodbye to my home, I think you have prepared me to take on the rest of my life. It is silly how attached I've become to you. After four years of holding hands with such a place, I guess it is really time to let go.

I thought I knew everything when I first moved to Boone. I thought I was just so "mature" for my age and knew everything about life, love and everything in between, but doesn't every 17-18 year old? Boy was I wrong. You taught me to stay grounded, become more patient, breathe every once in a while and appreciate the little things in life. You showed me a different kind of love. A kind of love that does not stay the same but grows. A love that involves much more than simply caring but respect, trust and understanding. You have put me in situations that tested my character. You let me make mistakes in order to learn from them because it is not the act of making mistakes that define your character, but how you react and learn from them that does. You enabled me to listen to the other side of the argument by getting off my stubborn high horse. You inspire me. You gave me opportunities to show what kind of person I am personally and professionally. Most of all, you gave me lasting friendships and gave me the courage, resources and drive to follow my dreams.

Not all days were good. Your winters realllllllly tested my patience. I admit to cursing your name under my breath every time I had to walk outside in your snow globe. Your winters are beautiful when I am inside with a coffee mug sitting by the fire, but man you were a bit brutal with your wind (admit it). But once you shed your winter blues and leaves starting showing their true colors, you made it all worth the wait. I can't even describe how absolutely breathtaking it was to hike your mountains and see the Blue Ridge Parkway or to feel SO close to the constellations, you felt they were in reach. You have been one heck of a back drop to my life. You let me understand the natural beauty of our surroundings. Forget those man-made skyscrapers or malls built to buy your happiness and find peace through retail therapy (although it does work temporarily). Seeing your inner peace and beauty every day has helped me to continue to find mine.
 
I have learned that we never stop growing ...and this is truly the beginning. I am not the same person I was four years ago and it would be silly if I was. It would be even more silly if I was the same person 10 years from now as I am today. Boone, you have helped me grow up and have led me to choose the path of greater resistance. There are no shortcuts in life and it is truly about the journey rather than the destination. I used to focus so much on the goal that I lost sight of the beauty about everything in between. You bring me back to reality but always made sure I knew my dreams were within reach. 

I still have a novel of things to learn, but Boone you have been one heck of a chapter. I will continue to write about you for years because you have been one of my true loves. Thank you for the lessons. Thank for your the change. You were everything I needed and so much more. This college graduate is going to share the beauty and strength you showed me and really make a difference in the world. I may not be able to reach the whole world, but if I can just change one life, that will be perfect enough for me. Thank for your some the best four years of my life.

This is only the beginning dearest Boone.
 Keep changing lives like you changed mine.
Plus, did I mention how kick butt your local restaurants and stores are? My goodness I am going to miss stuffing my face.


Now, excuse me while I go have a little emotional breakdown about moving. There a few happy tears in there, too. I promise. Like Dr. Suess says, "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."

Photo details: Photo was taken July 26, 2011, in Moses Cone off of the Blue Ridge Parkway. Once upon a time my friends and I were involved in a local band. We went out for a walk about took some band pictures showcasing the beauty that stood right outside our door, literally. This was one of scenic photos. Isn't Boone a beauty?

SELF-LOVE

April 28, 2012

I just wanted to pop in for a few moments to remind everyone about the importance of self-love.

In the midst of hectic schedules, piling deadlines, tending to others, taking orders and endless to-do lists, don't forget to love yourself. I have noticed I've taken the short stick lately when to comes to truly paying attention to myself and what my body and mind needs. I force them to handle four hours of sleep a night and starring for hours on a computer screen when my body needs rest, relaxation, meditation, silence and a break. My body and mind have been on over-time for how many years now and if I don't slow down, I may forget what's truly important in life. Self-love encompasses self-care, self-awareness and self-confidence. It is about feeling beautiful from the inside out and embracing everything that encompasses you.

Forgive your flaws.
Challenge your views.
Reward your good deeds.
Dedicate time for true relaxation.
Accept a compliment.

Give a compliment.
Leave room for improvement.

Be confident.
Don't sell yourself short.
Be mindful.

Take a step back in order to take steps forward.

Practicing self-love is an ongoing process and challenge that we will face every day of our lives, but we can't expect to fully love one another if we can't love ourselves. Do me a favor, and yourself a favor, by taking a step back from the stresses of your life and nurture yourself. Take a walk, avoid multitasking, drink tea from a mug...not a to go cup, silence your phones, drive with the windows down, order dessert first, anything! Just remember to take care of yourself once in a while. Sometimes you just need to put yourself first.

_____

The next couple weeks are crunch time for my college career. I will officially be graduating on May 12, 2012 with a Bachelor of Science degree in Public Relations with a minor in Sociology. It hasn't exactly hit me that college is over, but I already feel heavy moments of nostalgia weighing in on me. With every check mark on my to-do list is a breathe of fresh air so I'm working hard to keep sane for the next couple weeks.

I do thank you all for your patience as I ease back slowly into blogging. I just wanted to spend time re-branding and truly finding my online voice. I hope everyone is doing wonderfully! Good luck on everyone's endeavors, whether it is work related, school related or just in general life related. Remember to practice self-love!

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*This photograph was taken March 1, 2011 in Boone, North Carolina. This is one of my favorite views from our back porch. The quote was from a fortune cookie I received many moons ago, but has come to mean a lot of to me over the years.

OUTFIT POST | YELLOW CORDUROYS

 

My perfect yellow pants.
These pants were the perfect va-va-voom to get the day rollin' the right way, which it did! I wore these last week and it was the right kick-butt outfit to make myself be the most productive I've been in awhile. I've been in sort of a lag when it comes to staying focused lately. I just want to do so much in so little time that I can't even focus on one task because I'm thinking of another!

outfit deets
I got these corduroys (yes, I had to google how to spell 'em) from Gap a couple years ago but they still sell this 1969 style (buy 'em here!) Didn't see the same color but they are some of the most comfortable pair of pants and I am super, super picky when it comes to pants. The flannel was borrowed from my Catherine and these brown flats are from Target from years ago! You can't go wrong with flannels and corduroys in the mountain town I live in ;)

Did you notice my watch says 11:11?
The battery is broken so I set it at 11:11 for the time being as a filler, but I think I kind of like the idea of always having it there and not knowing what time it is. I used to be so caught up in what time it was and how much time I was spending on something so it's refreshing not surrounding my life with the idea of time. The bracelet is one of my favorite quotes and bracelet to wear. It's a nice constant reminder.

Told ya I'd bring you more outfit posts.
We'll see how lazy I get this Spring Break ;)

When in doubt...

(c) Melissa Vega Taken August 2010

I am indecisive.
I think too hard, I worry, I contemplate pros and cons and I allow my mind to get clouded with what ifs, "Am I making the right decision?" along with worrying about the ending rather than the beginning. I am sure all of you have felt this way one or another, you're basically not human if you haven't :] 2012 is opening a lot of doors for me, along with closing a few. While being in college, I have gotten away with not having to make too big of decisions because the next four years were basically planned out for me. Now everything is up for grabs. My life was planned around "semesters", Spring Breaks, summer sessions or ratemyprofessor.com. Some friends of mine are off to Graduate School (which I will eventually get to), marriage, new places, foreign countries or staying right where they are (which is perfectly fine.) As for me, who knows.

Isn't it kind of fun though?
Just not knowing. I have a few exciting things lined up for 2012 including a trip to Thailand and a three month trip to the Philippines, but after that I am going to have to make some decisions. One thing I know for sure though, is that I am truly going to let my heart guide me.

Recently my mother told me to follow my head and not my heart (when it came to love) but I just can't do it. I don't want to be safe.  I don't want to make the decisions that seem like the best for me externally but not internally. She had the best of intentions, making sure I didn't get hurt but If I follow my head, where's the excitement? Following my heart will definitely get me hurt and get me in life's little pickles, but that's where you learn the most. I want to learn. I want to to grow. I want trial and error. I want to look back and say, "You know what, I don't regret what happened, because I followed my heart." I want to live in a different state, make new friends and let the old ones grow.

I want to want.

So do me a favor this year and let your heart guide you.

Don't over think.
Don't worry.
Don't think about what if's and listen to your heart.
If you look back at your life, the best things have happened because you listened to your heart.
Am I right?

a little guest post @ Tongue Tied in Awe

Today I am guest posting over at Danielle's blog at Tongue Tied in Awe!
I'm super excited about the post and I hope you all go check it out :]
Danielle is one of my favorite blogger friends + it's always a pleasure to guest post for such a lovely lady.

Here's a little glimpse into my guest post.

Hop on over there to find MORE photography + inspiration quotes to feel inspired today.

Have a great Tuesday loves.

Preview of my Quote Book

      A few years ago, some of my good friends bought me that "Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself" book pictured to the left. Ever since they bought me it, I have created it into my official "quote book." A little place to find some inspiration or to inspire others. I have been currently working on it every now and then updating it with quotes, poems or any other such nonsense that I found appropriate.
         On my bucket list, one of my goals is to finish my first quote book. Who knows, I'll hopefully continue to make them, but let me finish one first :) Anyway, I'm about 75% done. This has been one of my favorite ongoing projects. I like some pages more than others, and some I just want to rip out forever! But that's the fun of it all I guess. To the right is a little preview of my quote book. Every now and then I'll post more pages and quotes. This isn't one of my favorite pages, but for some reason I scanned it on computer a couple years ago and I'm too lazy to scan another page...so you all get this page. If no one caught the reference, it's from "Perks of Being a Wallflower." On the right page, it got cut off but it was the beginning of one my favorite Andy Warhol quotes, "I think everybody should like everybody." I'll be sure to continually scan some more quotes from the book that I think all of you should enjoy.
        In other parts of my life, I have of course stayed pretty busy. I currently am helping my friends start a band. Well, they already created the band, but I've been dubbed as "Band Manager" which entails a lot of work and responsibility, but I have thoroughly been enjoying it. It's definitely a new kind of industry I am not used to, but I am ready to challenge myself. We are truly working hard to make this as successful as possible and I am in with all hands and feet. When we get more settled with recordings, our website and social media, don't worry, you'll get a blog post about it :) For now, just look out for us! We're coming and we're going to change the industry. I get to live my "dream" of being in a band, by just being their manager ;)

Ps. I am planning on updating the banner soon and add more aesthetically pleasing things to the blog soon.

If you all have some favorite quotes, let me know! I would gladly love to add them to my collection!

first love.